Failure

Lately I have been feeling down, there are many things that have contributed to it. There is the monthly PMS, missing my thursday night girls from back in the day, irregular sleep routine that comes with working nights, and the endless rain we had this weekend.

I glanced over to the wall that holds my race medals and bibs and questioned if that was now my history and not my future. Have I lost the drive and motivation to be a runner? Very depressing thought.

I just feel this deep sense of failure like I don’t finish anything. I am failing at logging my food intake into my fitness pal, failing at keeping my workout plans, failing at maintaining my 100 lb weight loss, failing at reaching my diet bet goal.

I know people have faith in me, but where is my faith? Sigh, I hope I can find it.  My friend Dee recommended starting a journal and each morning put my daily goal (s). I started today and hope to use this to aid myself in daily challenges and rewards.

the last 2 days...

of my diet bet game! I have seen the winning number on the scale this week! Today it is up but that is after 2 nights of work, I know I can hit that $$$ winning number by the time my weigh in pic is due Sunday! Means I might be missing Cinco de Mayo margaritas, booo!!!! The little bit of mexican I have in my might seep out of my blood with the lack of a margarita, I may have to give this thought :)

It has been raining buckets here in Southeast Georgia, much to my sadness! We were planning on visiting the shrimp fest and fencing our backyard so our new addition, Grady, can go outside more often! I will now be spending my weekend planning out half marathons for the rest of this year and next! Have a good one in your state that me and the hubs can run to mark off a state?

For now I will be educating myself on how to help mommy's breastfeed their baby! :) My online class has no deadlines, EEEKK not good for me!

An All Around Update!

So I have been missing! I know my last post was supposed to be about the half I did in Clearwater, FL.
Well I ran walked the first 10 miles with a ratio of 2:1 then walked the last 3, my feet were killing me (I hate my feet right now, they are requiring motrin, ice, rolling, and rest). Finished in 3:07:40 not too bad for no training.

My daughter, Ari, is now behind the wheel! Lord help me, she has her permit but drives like crap! Thankfully Todd is willing to teach her because I don’t have enough hair in my head  patience to take her often.

We added to our family! Meet Grady, he is a dofus, but we love him! He was adopted from the Brunswick Humane Society!

I went to Prescott, Arizona for BOW camp, it is basically Hunger Games tamed down for women! You can find info and the closest one to you here! I took sausage making, backpacking/hiking 101, stand up paddleboarding, and archery.

 Oh and best of all I am working again! I started beginning of April with hospital orientation but now I am on the floor! My dream job! I am a maternity care center nurse, which means I will work postpartum and Labor & Delivery!!! Back to the grind, trying to figure out weight loss, working out, and being a night shift nurse.  That is my update!

Tears and Prayers

Today I was going to write my update on the half I ran yesterday but on my way home I received a text from Todd that brought me to tears. He asked if I had heard about the explosions at the Boston Marathon. This hits close to home as I think about my babies that were cheering me on at the finish line yesterday. It could have been me, my husband, or my children just because we were out improving our health.

My prayers today will include all those who were involved in today’s tragedy.

Week One!

WOOT WOOT 210.0!!! Just now I realized that is not really my diet bet weight since I have to be dressed for that one opps! I did good all week, till today :-/ Sigh there are alot of yummy foods here in the south. For lunch today I went to Twin Oaks in Brunswick and had a pulled pork and cabbage. I learned I should ask for inside cut so I don’t get all the grissel (sp) and fat. Then for dinner I needed to have a date night so Todd and I went to OPS in Kingsland/St Marys (I really never know what town I am in yet). They have moscato YUM. We shared fried mushrooms, a BLT personal sub, and have some beighnets (sp).  Tomorrow morning we are getting up super early (I really would love to sleep in, I am so not used to waking up early every day anymore since I work nights!) and heading to Clearwater, FL so I can pick up my race packet! EEKKKK

Is this shirt not super cute or what??? Well guess what she has a bunch more motivational type shirts that can be personalized! Don’t you just love etsy? You can find her shop here at strongconfidentyou.

I will be sporting a super cute tank for my run/walk half on Sunday! 

Let’s Talk about Girl Scout Cookies

Who doesn’t love Girl Scout cookies? I sold them when I was a brownie and my beautiful daughter has sold them and this momma has been the one to have a MILLION I mean a MILLION boxes of Girl Scout cookies in my house, since I was that mom. Yes the crazy mom who said I have a van and yes I know where the girl scout hut is and yes I can go pick up our troop’s preordered cookies. 

What is your favorite cookie? I love love love Samoas and thin mints are good too, or the one that is pb and chocolate. Anyhow, yes I know cookie season is over AND I am proud to say I did NOT eat a single girl scout cookie this season!!! Holy cow, not only did I save my hips from growing I kept some extra cash in my pocket.  A win win situation in my opinion. It did help that neither of my daughters were in a troop this cookie season either. whew! 

Jacob’s ladder and working out with the kids!

I was excited that I was able to get home by 4 today and relax a little bit work on my lactation educator course. We made the kids shepard’s pie for dinner and spaghetti squash (in the microwave) with chorizo and black bean soup over it, so delish. Tonight as I headed to the gym both of my teens wanted to come! Score mom is making a difference in her kiddos! So off we went and on the drive to the gym I decided today would be the day I tackled it got over my fear of the jacob’s ladder!

Have you done this before? As seen on biggest loser! OMG I read the directions and climbed on up. After two minutes I thought I was going to DIE, it was so so hard!!! I talked to myself, yes sometimes I have to be my own cheerleader. I convinced myself to get to 5 mins and I could get off. At minute 4 I talked myself into 10 minutes. I was able to do it, as I was trying to do positive self talk I started letting negative talk in too. I started telling myself well if you only do 5 minutes today you can do 6 tomorrow and work up to 10 minutes. But I kept on with it and man those 10 mins were tough! I will try to work on it more in the future.  Lots of sweat and calories burnt!

                                                
After cardio we have been hitting up the machine room to do the inner/outer thighs and next to the machine was a bosu. My daughter, Ari, asked what the bosu can be used for. So I demonstrated squats on it and had her do some. It was kinda funny to watch her get on a bosu for the first time, probably about the same way I looked the first time I got on one, but I was able to capture her firsts :) isn’t that what moms are for?