wow where has January went?

I think that as we age each year flies by, just yesterday I was asked my age, sometimes I forget how old I am now. How weird, but I quickly do that math, ok born in 1976 its 2011 my bday is in Dec oh ya I am 34. Damn I have decided that makes me mid 30s. Am I bothered by this, no not really. I remember turning 30 and sitting down listing all the things I have accomplished in life. Sometimes I think we forget what we have done, a quick recap: I served my country for 11 years, had my own 3 children, adopted a child that was born to a drinking, drug using mother, and made 2 families as a surrogate, oh and I have completed 3 triathlons and 4 half marathons. Not freaking bad oh and i have finally reached my long life goal of becoming a nurse. ok i don't know why I thought I should recap my life, I blame in on finishing a book I highly recommend to any one battling their bulge.

The amazing adventures of dietgirl by Shauna Reid. So as I get all my fitness magazines in the mail and like to skip right to the success stories hoping someday i can say I am a success and see that these people took 2-3 years to get to goal weight. Really? who the hell wants to take that long to get to goal weight, but damn I haven't seen my goal weight since I lost weight in 1995 to join the Navy, seems like a number I may a number I may never get to so I guess i just need to stop and re-evaluate my life, how my clothes fit, how fit or unfit i am, is my skin clear due to not eating fried foods, is my pee clear, etc

i have also been battling the am I depressed on not with myself. For those that personally know me I am a pretty bubbly person. but having taking this 2 yr contract to this amazingly detached town I find days were I would rather be void of all human contact. So I though maybe exercise and its endorphins will help me, yet I haven't really trekked to the gym. I worked out monday after getting into the bod pod and it shooting out a sad number, my body fat (which im embarrassed to share) is 39.9% but maybe by sharing it I can happily post in 6 months that now its down to whatever. I haven't even decided what number to say I want to be, i have set so many weight loss goal but never achieved one yet so it seems pointless. so as january comes to an end and my NY resolutions have half assed through the month i finally opened a calendar i bought. I bought it specifically to track my ny resolutions aka goals is a better word to use. the calendar has 3 different shaded boxes per day, perfect since i set out with 3 major 2011 goals.

2011 goals recapped:
Run 500 miles
not incur anymore debt
do 30 mins a day rosetta stone

jan 29 review
-8/500 miles ok that was a crappy start to a goal LOL opps
-well i paid off 3 credit cards this month amounting to $4300 I believe but used a card to charge I think about $300 but will pay it off with my first check in feb so i dont know it kinda did ruin the ny resolution but im paying on it before interest hits so....
-shit rosetta stone, i was working 16 hour days for a 2 weeks sleeping was more important when I can OJT spanish lessons

since I am having issues with long term goals long term being even a month I have put the goal calendar up (only took 3 weeks to open it) so now its on my cork board in the hall to my bedroom/bathroom/laundry room. i can obtain 4 stickers a day, 1 for being 100% OP (on plan, this means as long as i track food intake, be it horrendous or fab), 1 for a workout, 1 for not incurring debt, 1 for studying rosetta stone. So this being said, I am rewarding myself with a much needed body massage after 1 week of star collecting, and lets see i can earn 28 stars in a week, as long as i get 20 stars I can get my massage this week. Yes I have taken this adventure to the level of Kindergarden but hey who doesn't like seeing stars?????